One step at a time.

My life is completely a mess and yet sometimes I feel like its all my fault. I made a choice to stop writing because I wanted to live my life instead of writing about it. Yet over a year later since I have written, I realized my writing is what grounded me; it helped me realign my center. So I am starting new. After a year of starting a relationship, losing my job, quitting another (which I know most ppl are facing), and then getting engaged... I wrote nothing about it. But now that I am here, I just want things new. I need a life makeover.

I almost feel like moving again. But where would the next step take me. I know its the simple movement of putting one foot in front of the other. However I have stumbled so many times I need to regain my strength. I guess in the end just like I have forgotten how to write, I have forgotten how to walk. I need to first figure out where I am going and that's a choice that gets really scary at times. I think partly because I continue to rely on other people to guide me. Guide me to the direction I should be moving towards... And now its all on me. My choice to go where I want to go. Who I want to be with and how I am going to get there.

There's a saying that you need to wipe out the excess to get to the good stuff. Well I am finding what to focus on and I don't want anything clouding my view. However I need to figure out what I want and what I don't want. I used to have a plan... and now I am making a new one. One that includes a start to a career, healthy relationships with family, friends, and my fiance, as well as seeking and fulfilling my spirit with a relationship with God. Soul, mind, Body. I know I can do it. Lets just see how fast I can put one foot in front of the other without stumbling. One step at a time.